Monday, June 9, 2008

I'm not that old...am I

The worst part about getting old is looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person staring back at you. "Who is that old guy that looks like my Dad?" I did not want to wined up like I did and did not want to feel like I feel. I hurt most all the time. My back hurts my feet hurt, the list gets longer every day. I still feel like the kid that wanted to take on the world, fly helicopters, fight forest fires and be the friendly park ranger. But now I older and did what I had to, to keep food on the table for my family. Now they are grown and I'm feeling to old to do what I wanted to do. I have abused my body and it is catching up with me. I still want to walk the adventure trail, see what's around the next bend on a rushing river. Maybe I will get better, but it's hard form me to trust Doctors, it's hard to find one that cares. So I put it off and hope and pray that if I do this or that it will get better.

I look down at my feet and they belong to my Dad, my hands look like his. I have the skin tags growing on me just like he use to have. I am his age now when I work with him in his shop as a teenager. Dad work two jobs most of his life, then had his own business when I work with him and it was all I could do to keep up with the old gent. Me a teenager and him in his mid fifties. How come I feel older, what have I done to get to this point. To much self indulgence, to much not taking care of me. I look after my car better that I do my body. Maybe I can change, maybe I have no choice any more. I want to be young as I get older. Then with my wife by my side we'll skip off into as many adventures as we can think of, until I can go home and reverse it all! Someday I'll have a new body, praise the Lord!

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