Out of my hands…..

I remember as if it was yesterday, the day I took on the awesome responsibility of being somebody’s dad. My first born was placed in my hands fresh out of his mother’s womb and it hit me like a ton of bricks. God has placed this life in my hands to raise and provide for and keep safe…..how can I do this God; I wanted to cry out. How can I do this indeed? They say it takes a village to raise a child, I don’t know about that, but my wife and I soon found out we could not do it alone. We both had parents that jump into service when ever needed, but even they could not be there all the time. And believe me being a parent is an all the time job. So we enlisted the help of one that would be there all the time….GOD.

My wife was born to be a mother; it came to her as naturally as breathing, me I was not good at the baby stage, I would take over later. But I could not help but take control when those little hands reached out for me. "I’ll hold your hand my little one, it’s what I do, cause I’m your Daddy". Those trusting little hands….how soon they grow.

Then comes the time when thy want to pull those little hands away from you and run away. But there only two years old so you hold on tight to keep them from running into traffic. Even if that little hand turns blue you hold on for all your worth as the years go by.

One day though you have to trust those hands that grew up as you held on. And you have to let go. After all this is the day you prayed for this is why you ask God for help. Now it’s time, because if you keep holding on tight you will lose them anyway. So you let go and watch as they grow up before your eyes.

So thank you God for answering my prayers and taking over as my hands failed through out the years. You raised my children up to be true sons of there Father in heaven. You proved it to me again today as you reach into my son’s hart and heal him. The doctor and nurses were there, but I know who’s hand did the work. How can I say thanks, my Lord….how can I say thanks……..
There is a time for every purpose under heaven.........

29 Years…….

…………Is a long time you would think, but it has gone by in the blink of an eye for me and my love. Some don’t believe in praying, they say prayers don’t get above the roof. But I have seen prayers answered, because mine has a name……Angie. She walks at peace with all because she would rather praise you than say a cross word to any one. Her smile will heal your hurt and her touch is as calming as a slow rain on a summer afternoon. Her beauty flows from her and engulfs you so that all you see is her warm face and deep eyes full of love. She is envied by the stars because no one sees them when she is around. My love walks this earth with the grace of an angel, but heaven is her home. God allowed her to touch my life and she has change my world. I can live because of her, she is my other half, I am complete only when she is near. I hold her tight because I remember the darkness before I found her. She fills our home with her sweet fragrance and our children bloom and flourished because of the hope she speaks of and the faith she confirms.

I have been blessed with 29 years by her side and look forward to many more if My God wills it. I don’t understand eternity, my mind is to small. But I know this, a wonderful soul like my loves is forever, she believes the Son. And if I’m allowed and if heaven is all I dream, I will be by her side as we praise God together for the next 29 years and forever after when time is no more.

Happy June 16th Angie; Thanks for marrying me!

My Three Son’s

And so it’s that time of year again…..
Hey Dad….happy fathers day! It’s a call I look forward to getting this time every year. Long distance, it’s bad to be this far away from your children when they live in another state. But there grown, all married. Two live out of state, one still close by, but all out on there own none the less. So when the phone calls have been received and the cards all opened and it’s quite now I travel back in time and remember when…..

It’s Sunday morning, I hear dishes rattling in the kitchen and little voices whispering. My wife sticks her head in the bedroom door and say’s “don’t you dare get up”! Soon the door opens and three little boys carry in wobbly plates on a tray and present it, just like they really did all the cooking. Happy Fathers day Daddy! They have cards and presents to give me, but the smiles and laughter is really all I need.

Those years went by to fast, I wish I would have cherish them more, wish I could do it all again. But I can’t, I have to be satisfied with the job I done raising my three sons. I was not a perfect father; I had a bad temper and reacted to quickly sometimes. My wife was the balance that kept it all in line. Those little boy’s soon became teenagers and like all that age, wanted to get away. At that age the grass is always greener and your parents just don’t get you at all. I said things to my parents when I was an “all that teenager”; I wish I could take back. My kids did my wife and I the same. But you forget because they did not mean it, just like you did not mean it when you were that age. We go through it all together, because that’s what a family does.

Time is short, and your time is limited when you get older, it’s just a fact. So now when I have time with my family, I soak it all in, enjoy every moment. I take to many pictures and way to much video, but I just want to hold on to it all, cause it all changes and time fades it away. You see I still want to walk over to the phone to this day and pick it up and dial those familiar numbers…….hey Buster, Happy father’s day! I held my wife today as tears rolled down her cheek, because this is the first year she will not be able to make that same call to her father. Enjoy it while you can, talk even though you have nothing to say.

I am very lucky; my three sons tell me often how good a father I was and what a great dad I am. If that is true, it is because I had three great little boys that grew up to be men I can call my friends. They each picked wonderful women to marry and our family is very blessed. We enjoy time together and life is good; and some day soon my boys will pass own to their children the love from generations passed.

Thank ya boys, it’s been a great ride so far!

Paradise

Jimmy and Mary were quite a pair back in their younger days
They met a married in six weeks time and
That was sixty years ago this May
Four kids made a house a home and a love for Jesus kept them strong
Now every morning at eight A..M.. Jimmytakes a drive through town
He spends his days at Mary's side
In a home for the old and broken down
With a cane in his lap and a Bible in his hand
He reads her stories about the promised land
And with tears in their eyes they dream of a place
Where everything changes in the light of Jesus' face and
That's paradise...

These opening lyrics to the Steven Curtis Chapman song Paradise reminds me of two special couples I have known in my life. So this is dedicated to these old saints that stuck it out through thick and thin, that walk the long walk through life. They did what that had to do for God and family and complain very little. The good times came along and the bad times ate them up, but they kept on going. Their feelings hurt when the kids they bore did not appreciate the sacrifices made, but stood proud with a tearful eye when they spread their wings and flew away. Prayer got them through this life, forgiveness and faith made it all bearable. A commitment made was a commitment kept, so giving up was not a option, they hung in there together until death do they part. If I could write a book and tell their story, it would not begin to even touch on the way these two couples touched my life. So the reward they dream of is now reality for all but one. Enjoy paradise, you’ve earn it!

Merl and Elizabeth, Frank and Sara, I sure were quite the pairs back in there younger days.....


Fathers day always make me think of Buster and the perfect gift I always wanted to give him but never found. So this is my little tribute to my Mom and Dad and my wife’s Wonderful Parents.

Destined to Repeat

They say that if we forget history it is destined to repeat it’s self. I believe we have reach that point. Someone came to me and several others standing around and asked “ the depression was after world war 2 wasn’t it? When did WW 2 start any way?” I was taken back and said . "The depression was before WW2 it ran from 1929 after the stock market crash until the late thirties and brought this nation to its knees. And remember Perl Harbor a date the will live in infamy December 12th 1941, jezz man, remember your history"!! How soon we forget, how soon we get comfortable.

I have long believe we are headed to another depression, and this nation will not be able to handle it today. I have nothing to base this on, because I am no economist. It’s just a feeling I have, based on people like the person above and a younger generation that has forgotten where we came from. History is important when it comes to lessons learn, so we don’t repeat our mistakes. It’s kind of like your work, if you made a mistake, that’s fine you learn and move on, but when you repeat the same behavior and get the same mistake and repeat it again and again that’s foolishness. How many nations have gone to war, with nothing gain but death and destruction…..yet we still use war to solve problems. How many civilizations have grown, become a great power, have it all, their people live in prosperity and then they fall and disappear into soon forgotten history.

Lest we forget…. But I would not worry, why should we. We live in a great nation that has it all. We can drive to work in our bigger than life SUV and fill up our tanks at 60 plus dollars a pop. Why walk or ride bikes, that’s beneath us, any way our city planers have long forgot about sidewalks and bike paths. Because who has the time, got to go, got to get to work, got to make money to buy more stuff. And when we do have time to enjoy nature, so we must buzz by it on our four wheelers or fly over the still water on our jet ski. Who has time to walk in the woods and hear a stupid bird sing or a squirrel play in the leafs.

The next depression and why I fear it? Here’s why, we are to soft today. Our little white collar country has sold it’s soul (the crafts and trades and skill that takes hard work) to the rest of the world. Our farmers and farms are no longer family business but corporations. We don’t kill an eat, we buy and consume. My Dad once told me that during the depression if they had not been able to raise there own food and kill there own live stock they would not have survived. You see they were one of the lucky families, they had a farm to move to. They lived in the city when the depression hit and soon lived in poverty. Until my grandmothers father gave them a farm he had and they moved the family to it and work it to keep them in food. But many were not so lucky, the ones that lived in the city. They had to walk and walk from town to town to find work. Our country step in and put many to work. They used those out of work hands to build, national parks, dams and roads, that are still here today.

So, can you imagine having to go out in the back yard wring a chickens neck, dress it and cook it for tonight’s meal. Heck we don’t have the time or energy to cook any more, just stop buy McDonalds on the way home. To soft, to lazy, to busy and to forgetful, we are. Me to, I’m a product of a generation that prospered after WW 2. We boomed into this world and still think we are all that. I’ve watch my generation take it all for granted and it gets worst with each one that follows. I’m sure the same thing happen in Rome, before it burn. Dooms day is coming? Did not mean to say that, we are smart enough today not to let our country, our great nation disappear. We are smarter right? Oh, by the way I had the above date wrong. December 7th 1941 is the date that will live in infamy. I’m so sorry, Mr. Roosevelt, I guess infamy is to short of a time for our memories. I’m so ashamed………

I'm not that old...am I

The worst part about getting old is looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person staring back at you. "Who is that old guy that looks like my Dad?" I did not want to wined up like I did and did not want to feel like I feel. I hurt most all the time. My back hurts my feet hurt, the list gets longer every day. I still feel like the kid that wanted to take on the world, fly helicopters, fight forest fires and be the friendly park ranger. But now I older and did what I had to, to keep food on the table for my family. Now they are grown and I'm feeling to old to do what I wanted to do. I have abused my body and it is catching up with me. I still want to walk the adventure trail, see what's around the next bend on a rushing river. Maybe I will get better, but it's hard form me to trust Doctors, it's hard to find one that cares. So I put it off and hope and pray that if I do this or that it will get better.

I look down at my feet and they belong to my Dad, my hands look like his. I have the skin tags growing on me just like he use to have. I am his age now when I work with him in his shop as a teenager. Dad work two jobs most of his life, then had his own business when I work with him and it was all I could do to keep up with the old gent. Me a teenager and him in his mid fifties. How come I feel older, what have I done to get to this point. To much self indulgence, to much not taking care of me. I look after my car better that I do my body. Maybe I can change, maybe I have no choice any more. I want to be young as I get older. Then with my wife by my side we'll skip off into as many adventures as we can think of, until I can go home and reverse it all! Someday I'll have a new body, praise the Lord!

My Sons Hart

I’m so sorry you have to go through this surgery, if I could do it for you I would! I hate to see a young man like you go through this. All I can do is pray that you find the right Doctor and that this surgery corrects the problem so you never have to deal with it again. All I can do is pray………why did I say it like that, habit I guess. We have access to the most powerful being in existence, the God and father of all, one who loves His children and wants to give them all good things. But this womb of time we live in is not perfect and bad things happen to good people and bad people seem to get away with murder. But this is our proving ground, our moment of growth and development until we are ready to be born into eternity. So now your facing some troubling times ahead, and how you deal with it and how your family gathers around you will brings us closer to God if we trust Him. I Placed you in his hands long ago, and I have watch as He has work in your life. Are you a model and perfect Christian, maybe not, no one is, but the difference is made in the HART!! And you have a beautiful HART, your fleshly hart may have a flaw, but your True Hart is a wonderful gift from God because you have been a blessing in my life and I know a lot of other life’s as well.
All I can do is pray…..maybe so, but my Father in heaven puts a thousand angels to work at the whisper of my voice, and The God of everything puts things in motion that I can not see with my earthly eyes. How will it all work out, I don’t know, but I trust Him, because He brings the good and the bad to shape us into what He wants us to be. Be the clay in the muddy river bank that is pushed around by the water, but when in the hands of the Master potter becomes a beautiful vase that flowers bloom from.

WHO HAVE I HURT?

I wonder who have I hurt in my travels through this life time of mine. Who all have I cut into with my sharp wit and missed used tong. I think of the time I have felt hurt that came from others who looked upon me with a critical eye. And with either sharp or dull wit they cut me into and my hart was hurt with my feelings left bleeding all over the floor. I have been called many things in my life, and every time it hurts. Oh I try not to show it as they pick out some flaw of mine or mistake I made and bring it to light in front of others. Oh the joy we get when we can point at others and say “look at them, don’t you see”. And in doing this we think, they want look at me and my flaws. Some say I’m sensitive, because my feelings do get hurt from time to time. But you would think this would stop me from hurting others and you would think wrong.

Who have I left behind in the wake of my destructive tong? How many have I hurt and cut until they bled? The mouth, made to edify God and the tong made to praise the eternal one. Can be use to destroy His creation. We can say proudly we never killed any one. But how many sprits have you broken, how many dreams have you shattered, with one cutting remark or roomer spread. I know I have done my share of damage. I have hurt love ones, people closest to me that trusted me to only say good nurturing things, but I hurt them with my evil words. Things said in hast, that the word sorry can never erase. Then there are the everyday acquaintances, people I work with, that thought I was someone special for awhile until I lashed out at them or cut them in jest just because I could. Yes my wit is sharp at times, to sharp. And then less not forget the strangers I have cut with my blade of justice.

So what right do I have to get my feelings hurt, what right indeed! For on my pilgrimage through this life my walk has not been a straight one, I have wondered off the path and let my feet travel in the darkest parts of this world and in doing so have lead many astray. So what can I do to amend? All I can do is control my evil mouth when I can and think before I open it. If I can’t think of a positive thing to say, then maybe I should have never learned to talk at all. But this is easier said then done. Because I will always try to out draw the other person with my wit, this way I can disarm them before harm befalls me, seems like I am destine to hurt others and in turn get hurt also. This is an insane cycle, it must be stop. I pray one day before I die all the good things I have said to others will far out weigh the hurtful words I have spoke into the cold air of this life.