Past to Present

We stand on their shoulders and continue on…..

Under Construction; From Mud Pit to Garden we hope……

It has long been a dream of mine to have a shop at home (just like Daddy did), a place where I could create and work with my hands. Maybe a place to eek out a living from, but more of a place to apply what I have learned in this short life I will live on this planet. Using these skills allows the people that taught them to me to live once again in my mind. That being said; after purchasing land once again in Mississippi (something I vowed not to do again), I began to see this shop in the back yard. So at the first of this year with steady employment on my side, I ventured out and started the process of building this dream into reality.

If you see it in your mind; you can accomplish it……. I believe this to be true. How else did man do all that he has, with out a vision. My small vision changed many times as I began to talk to people about building it. Every conversation ended the same. I would show these people of the construction trade what I had in mind and then they would tell me how it could not be done. I would want the shop there…. “Oh no you can’t put it there, it’s to wet, to low, to this, to that”. I want it this size and with concrete floors….”oh well if you want that it will cost ya, that cost this and this cost that”. Every thing was a challenge to over come. But after some compromises and finding someone with more yes’s than no’s we started construction.

If I had time and lived at home during the week there is a lot of the work I could have done my self, but I don’t so I had the guy build this dream of mine to a certain point and then quit. It would be completely finished on the outside but with out electricity (mistake one) and unfinished on the inside. I would do those two things later. The guy I contracted with did a quick job and built it on the budget he quoted and in a reasonable time considering the weather he had to work around in February. The clearing that had to be done to get the shop in place turn out to be the “Big Job” that lay ahead that I had not counted on. During the process we had curious on lookers and a few nosey neighbors, but I would be too if anyone was building something next door to me as well.

So we moved on.
With the yard now a mess I decided it needed more done to it just to keep it a mess. If I did not get enough no’s when I built the shop I sure got enough when I started trying to find someone to wire it. Seems the electricity in the house was maxed out due to the side apartment hook to the house and to top it off the apartment that was built on to the house in later years was built right over the buried wire, which was a code violation. So I had to rerun the wire from the street around the house, to the house and then to the shop. To make a long story short it cost me double what I budgeted and more time trying to find someone that would even do it. It also messed up the yard even more as the wire has to be buried 36” in the ground to meet code. So now not only the back yard was torn up but also the yard in the back of the apartment. This should have been enough to make any wife furious, but not my Angie….she was supportive all the way.

Now the fun has begun….. Since tools are in place and I have power to run them I put finishing the shop on hold until we got the yard back, half we presentable. This darling wife of mine and I have one thing we dearly love to do and that is to spend our precious leisure time in our back yard watching humming birds in the morning while sipping coffee and roasting hotdogs over an open fire in the evening as the sun sets. This is our one of many simple pleasures we enjoy, and all we ask is to do it in privacy of our back yard as we look at Gods wonderful nature. So since early spring and on into summer, we have slowly, on the weekends been trying to put the yard back in shape so we can enjoy it once again. This is a long term project, but my wife and I have a shared vision. And we will see it through; but it will take time. Once finished it will be; “Angie’s Garden Of Secrets”. More to come on that later…...

Let me finish this first installment of notes on the “Mud Pit to Garden project” by saying this. The greatest joy in all this has been having my wife by my side as we worked together; and worked hard. We have dug holes, built fences, pulled weeds, moved and replanted trees, stained concrete and last but not least, cut wood as she stack each and every piece. On that day, just a couple of weeks ago we where getting ready to go out that morning. She was putting gloves on to protect her dainty hands as I suggested she wear an old pair of leather gloves I had, instead of the cloth ones she already had on. When she put the leather ones on I noticed she looked like Minnie Mouse with these big cartoon gloves; all she needed was a poky dotted dress and a mouse tail (even though I would not say it for fear of…..just because I have fear to fear from her) so I kept this vision to myself until now. The funniest part of that day was this one other little story. As I was cutting wood on top of this big pile of fallen trees the bulldozer had left for me after clearing the lot, I tossed one fresh cut log down to Angie for her to stack; she did not see it coming for picking up another piece. The small log took a bad bounce was headed for her hand in theses big gloves. I yelled “Watch IT” as a warning, but she did not take it as such and thought I was yelling at her. To which she promptly replied “YOU WATCH IT”!!! I tried to explain I was simply warning her; the same way a lumber jack would yell “TIMBER” as he cut down a tree. I also added what would you do it that case? Yell back at the party trying to warn you of and impending tree falling on your head……”YOU TIMBER”!!!
So as we get more done in the back yard I will be back to write more. But before I go, a special THANK YOU to Evan and Nikkie for always lending a helping hand every time I asked. And to Brandon who helped Evan and I move some heavy equipment into the shop on his vacation time while visiting us. And who can forget trying to lift a 60 gallon air compressor and bolting it in place as I curse the gods of compressed air for making it so blooming heavy!!! Thank you all for the help and for putting up with my temper fits when things went a rye….a Williams can not do anything with out a fit or two along the way : )
I leave you with a picture of phase one. More to come later….

The Tree

It is morning; I get up and get ready for the day. I am alone; I hate being alone, always have. But it is what I have to do for now. I open the door and the crisp spring morning greets me and I smile. On the ride to work I roll the window down and feel the cool air blow over my skin, I am alive. In the parking lot I walk towards work, endless work. I have always worked. Even when I was a small child I had to work, it was expected of me. When freedom came to my classmates in the summer, I had to work. My father expected it, he expected a lot….but its okay, as I look back now with older eyes, it’s okay.

On mornings like this I can’t help but think what it would be like to just keep riding or keep walking. I think I would like to keep walking; the slowness of it would appeal to me. Taking my time and just walking to see what I could see. But I walk instead into a building that blocks the sun and the outdoors and I start my day of work. I like what I do it makes me feel creative, but like everything it has limits. Life and its limits. I create under rules that limit my feeling of creativeness so it becomes like it always does, just a job! At lunch I walk away from the desk and go out side and walk. For thirty minutes I am free to walk. Free, what does it mean? Freedom is bantered about, “you live in a free country” and other such nonsense is spoken by many who love to think it. But do we truly know what freedom is? I can’t think about it now it is time to go back to…..work.

The afternoon comes and it’s soon time to go home. But instead of home I go to an apartment; home will have to wait until the weekend. I read, but mostly watch TV. There are no good shows any more, just a few peek my interest; but I keep watching, what else is there to do……for tomorrow I will get up and it will all start over again.

If I could wonder for a moment, I would like to ponder this. What if the fruit had stayed on the tree? What if’s are fun, are they not? What if’s, keep a child’s imagination alive. So I will be a child for a moment and wonder what kind of world would I walk into tomorrow, if the fruit had of stayed on the tree............

My morning starts like any other, I rise with my wife by my side. We greet the new day together with a smile. Our morning prayers are a conversation with our Father. There are no requests that He meet our needs, because they are already met. We walk outside to gather food for today, there is always plenty. We work yes, because it gives us pleasure. We give away the labor of our hands to others as they in turn give to us, it is our only currency. Our day is spent in the glory of our Father, He gives us life more abundant everyday. New life comes but; it never has to leave; for there is no endings here only new beginnings. Many have sprung from the first and his mate and we have covered the earth, this garden planet our Father gave us. We live with it, not on it. My wife and I have watched as our offspring have reached maturity and found mates of their own, as they too will continue the blessing of new life.

Our life is nothing but contentment, freedom and never ending peace. My wife and I have a trip planed soon. We are going to go to the place of origin where the first was created; maybe visit the tree of life. It is something we have talked about for awhile now. It will be a long walk and will require some sailing across the sea; but we feel it will be a great adventure. We love adventures, to walk to see all that the Father has created He has many wonders to behold. It will be a grand trip. Our life has always been that way, for it is our Fathers will for us; to be truly happy. I can’t imagine it any other way…………

20 Years

In 1989 I move to Mississippi with my wife and three small children in tow. I thought I would move back to Georgia in a few years. We had a hard time adjusting to the life style coming from a big city like Atlanta. It was like we had move back in time twenty years. The slow pace and the comments like "your not from around here are ya" really began to get on our nerves. The years went by fast and we found it hard to move back as we settled into life in our new home. The kids grew up and some moved away. My home town when I visit now seems foreign to me. I have come to love the "slow pace life" and the fact that people I don't even know wave at me as I drive the small town roads. Twenty years have came and gone; it was not all bad. A lot of good things happened....down in Mississippi.

A New Day

It is the 9th year of the new century. My day starts like any other; I rise to a cold room and wrap my feet before I touch the cold wood floor. Once I have acquired my foot ware I make my way to the wood heater and try to rouse the coals so the new fire for the day starts easier. With a fire now things seem brighter and the morning less challenging. My husband has been dead now for….has it been that long. Ten years; I wish I could say it went by fast, but it did not. When you’re a fifty something woman in the wilderness life is not easy. Now to brave the cold morning air as I walk to the coop. The hens this morning have been generous with their eggs all except you Maggie (I like to name them). As I wring her neck I whisper a word of thanks for the meal she will provide tonight. The eggs I will trade in town later in the week, trade for some salt and flour. I clean the hen that lost the egg lottery and toss the head, guts and feathers over the fence for the varmints to fight over.

Now to the root cellar for some of my can goods I put up last summer. If you want to eat you must plan. Preserving what you grow is one way and making sure the live stock survives the cold with you is another. Winters are hard on a farm. But spring is here now and it will get easier for a time. This one last cold spell may be a little hard on the seedlings, but it did not get as cold as it could have. Winter does not want to give up its cold grasp. This will be the last of the plums I put up, think I’ll make some biscuits to eat with them along with some eggs (Lord knows I got plenty).

I don’t mind the work on this small farm. My husband and I made it just the right size for the two of us. It provided our needs for all those years together. My (use to be our) only regret is we never had children to share it with. But we were not the only ones; it is just part of life now. So I go on and make the best of it as I name the livestock and live my life alone. But I have my memories. I came from a large family. But Part of growing older is you watch as each one leaves you as time does its dance. After all these years though I can still see their faces. Each one handle the new struggle that came as a result of the……well…lets just say some were stronger that others. I guess it is true what they say “the strong survive”. Many died as life change in our world. But let’s face it from what I was told and what little I remember, life was easier before, but maybe too easy. Easy makes you soft, unprepared and dependant on others. If you have to much you forget what it was like when you had nothing. I remember what nothing felt like so I prepare now for hard times. Maybe if they had done that……well what’s done is done.

The day has worn on and my thoughts have kept me company as I toiled in the ground to bring new life from it once again. I remember the first time I dug in the ground it was a game I use to play with my Great Grandfather; but it turned out not to be a game at all, but his way of warning us. This oil lamp I light, use to be a rarity before. I was young back then when the darkness fell. But that is just history now. We have to make the best of what’s left. I guess I’m an optimist. Maybe that is why my name is Hope!

A Letter

Dear; Mama & Buster

How are you? What am I thinking, of coarse your fine. Me? I’m doing better, but it’s been hard since ya’ll left. I miss you both, I can’t tell you the times I have almost pick up the phone to call and then reality sets in….. Reality? Is that what this is? Or is it where you are? I guess that is a question for the philosophers to answer. A lot has been going on latley so I just wanted to drop you a note and wirte it all down, maybe for my benefit.....

Well it happened, the boys all grew up, got married and left home. I guess I know how you both felt now. And empty house can be sad at times, but you just have to move on. Angie and I are making the best of it and are trying to use this time to reconnect. Seems you spend so much time being Mom and Dad that you forget about being a couple. So we choose to use this time to fall in love again every day and look back at the past with prideful eyes. I wish you both could have met the wives the boy’s chose. We are very lucky to have such great Daughters in law. Each one is very special and they keep the boys in line; but most of all each one of these new little families seems very happy. What a joy that is to see.

But I have saved the best news for last. The other day I met some special little people. That’s right, our little grandchildren arrived on this earth for their time in the sun. Oh if you could only see them. Mama; can you believe it…. Twins! A Boy and Girl no less. And Buster, you should see ole Ryan, he is just busting at the seams with pride. Chloe will be such a special mother to those two little ones, if you could only see her with them……. See them? Maybe you can; some how. It is times like these that I miss ya’ll most. I think I should turn around and see you both standing there. But your not and that time has passed. But I see you both in other ways. Sometimes in these new little faces we are getting to know; you are there. I catch a glimmer or a look and I see you. I guess that is God’s way of helping us remember the ones before.

Now I am a Grandparent. What a change, how fast time moves on. I think that is what I would like most about the place where you are. No movement of time, just being and enjoying the moments that last forever. But there is a lesson in that I guess, we have to learn to enjoy the moments and although they don’t last forever we have to hold on to them as if they do.

Buster; I wish you were here to share a word of advice or wisdom. And Mama; I know you would enjoy holding them and getting some of that sweet baby sugar. But my prayers for you both have ended. It is a void that is now filled with new ones that have come into my life that I will pray for. I promise I will pray, until I see you both again.

I have included some pictures of Angie and me with our Grandbabies.

I know you know this, but I will write it any way.

I Love you both

Randy

P.S. Tell Frank and Sara….Hi

Generations

It’s time. That was all I heard and I was on my way. The drive seems to take forever, but then I finally got to her. She was waiting, all packed up and ready to go. We greet with a kiss and a smile and within moments we are driving again. We talk about what the future holds and whether we are ready. Is anyone ever truly ready? After an eternity we finally arrive, happy faces greet us. We have rushed to get here, but now we have to wait until the time is right. Family, our wonderful family, is all around, waiting, hoping for the moment we get to see…… Our long wait is over and we see our son. January 16, 1981. Ryan Ashley Williams is born to proud parents and even prouder grandparents. Another generation in a long family history. People come together, fall in love, families blend and the branches of the family tree spread out and the roots grow deeper.

I have long prayed for the future of our family. Since the time my wife spoke the words and told me we were going to have a baby, I have prayed. You see, I have been blessed, not because I’m a good person, for I am far from it. But nonetheless, I have been blessed. So, like Johnny Appleseed, I wanted to spread my blessings and share them with my future family that I knew was on its way. So I prayed.

I prayed that each one of my children would come to know the Lord and would try as best they could to follow Him as he led them throughout their lives…..check!

I prayed that my children would find good Christian wives; the kind of women that would strengthen them as they both walked with the Lord. Check that one off as well.

And I prayed for the children that would come as a product of another generation that met and fell in love. I prayed they, too, would know this Mysterious God and follow his Son as they walked the path ahead of them.

The path ahead? What will it hold indeed……..

2009, the world of tomorrow. A world of change? The only change we can truly hope for is a change in people. Government will never change, countries will never change. People are our only hope for the future. People with a heart of love, a heart of compassion. People with Christ in their hearts that allow Him to live through them. We need more people that walk the walk. We have too many now that just talk the talk.

February 21st. I got the call…..it's time. I drove and I picked her up and we drove some more and after an eternity of driving we arrive and our wonderful family is all around with happy faces waiting for news that all is okay. I pace the floor as I did long ago. Then I see him, the happy face of my grown up son. The pure joy on his face brings a tear to my eye for I know the long dark road he has walked to get to this place.

After some time passes and we are assured that my precious daughter-in-law is doing fine, we go to meet the future - a Boy and a Girl that will change our world forever.

Why do I continue to pray? Because I have seen far too many prayers answered to give up now. Just because I prayed, it did not mean they were all answered the way I wanted or in the time I wanted. Most of the time we never get to see our prayers answered at all. "Why?" you ask. Because we walk around with Son glasses that keep our eyes blinded from His light and the miracles all around. We only see what we want to see. So I have been blessed to open my eyes and take the focus off myself for a moment to see that God did answer those prayers all along. We choose to take Him far too lightly and we let His name roll off our tongues without the reverence it deserves at times. But He is still the Alpha and Omega!

One generation ends and another begins.

Benjamin, I have so much I want to show you. Follow me out to the shop and we will make something together while I tell you a story.

Emaline, stop running around for a moment, come and sit on my lap and listen to this old man tell you about another man named Buster.

We have many stories to tell, my wife and I......I pray those little ears listen. They will never meet the ones before them in this life, but they will know them because of the things they left behind and the memories we have to share.

I pray they remember.......

I’m sure they will…………….

It truly is a wonderful world!